“But why would you get into comedy if you don’t want to be famous?”

She asked it with that kind of “I know I’m right” attitude. 2 + 2 = 4. Duh.

It’s a fair question. “Don’t you want to be famous?” For me, the answer is usually an emphatic no. People who aren’t comedians, or as I like to call them Real Human Beings, are usually baffled by this. Why would anyone get into entertainment if they didn’t want fame and fortune? 2 + 2 = 4! Well not always.

I view fame as somewhat of a curse. People who are famous live under the microscopic view of public opinion everyday. Every thing they do is pictured, analyzed, criticized and broken down until they snap and end up slapping a Target employee and using an electric wheelchair as a getaway vehicle(see Katt Williams). Can you imagine? Everything you say…eat…tweet. Regurgitated for the masses. I love the freedom I have now of being able to Tweet the most nonsensical things I can think of without remorse. That’s freedom.

Whereas someone like Kaley Cuoco, says she’s not a feminist and the fucking world stops. She’s left frantically in damage control mode, saying her comments were taken out of context Everyone thinks the same thing, “No they weren’t. You said what you meant.”

The freedom to be able to say what I mean or how I feel is everything. THAT’S the reason I’m in comedy. Freedom of self expression. Now, if fame were to happen, I probably wouldn’t push it away. It’s just not something that I’m chasing. My goals are to be well known and respected enough to make a good living through comedy. That’s it. Kim Kardashian is famous. Paris Hilton is famous. Maria Bamford is a genius. (And for the most part, can walk around like a human being).

When Real Human Beings ask, “Who are your favorite comedians?” I usually include Maria Bamford near the top. They then say something like, “Ok but like who are your favorite BIG NAME comedians. Like famous people.” I can’t help but laugh. In entertainment RHB’s equate fame with success. Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, Kevin Hart, Jerry Seinfeld, are all famous and wildly successful comedians. However, these guys are outliers. In comedy you can be successful and not known on their astronomical level. You can tweet freely. You can walk through a crowded grocery store. This is the best of both worlds. A sweet spot.

That’s really where I’m aiming to be. So if you ever see a picture of me on Instagram hanging out with Miley Cyrus, please send help. Because I have lost control.

Dwight Simmons is a comedian and you can keep up to date with him if you subscribe. But he isn’t going to tell you what to do. He’s not your mother:

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